The chimes at midnight, they're blurred in the wine

[venta]

Today, I took my car to the garage for a service. The nice people let me have a shiny Corsa to drive around while Blue Johnson was looked at and seen to. A brand spanking new one, with only 1800 miles on the clock.

It had that scary new-car feel, where everything seems very stiff and uncomfortable. It hadn't been worn in yet, and you could feel the corners on the gearbox. The brakes were very sharp and the clicks on the twisty heat control very loud. I also discovered - once on the road - that it had the scary new kind of indicators they put in Vauxhalls these days.

Ordinary indicators have three positions: off, on-right and on-left. Scary Vauxhall Indicators (SVI) think this is way too simple. They go for a two-stage process - push the indicator stalk gently and the stalk returns immediately to centre, flicking your indicator for a few seconds. Great for changing lanes, or pulling round a parked car. Push the indicator stalk harder, and you get proper indication, which cancels itself after you go round a corner. But - and here's the snag - even in the second case the stalk returns immediately to centre. Your stalk is in what I'd regard as the 'off' position while you're indicating.

Which means that when you want to stop indicating (because, I dunno, you've decided not to turn left after all, or because the unfamiliarity of the two-stage thingy meant you'd switched them on when you didn't mean to) you can't return the stalk to center. It's already there. But out of force habit you try anyway, meaning you start indicating the other way instead.

Now, any sensible person could probably figure out the solution in a few seconds' prodding, but the nature of the beast is that you discover this problem while (to quote a random example) on a major gyratory on the A4. Attempting to drive and stop indicating like a crazy person is less easy. Fortunately, I remembered a conversation with my parents two years ago when they got their new car and discovered SVI. To stop indicating left, you indicate left again. Simple.

I don't think this is a bad interface, it's just a bit counterintuitive at first.

Other than that, the little gold Corsa and I made our way to work quite happily. Except for the bonging. I was muddling along reasonably well when I pulled up at a roundabout to wait my turn. Just as I stopped, the car emitted a lound "bong!" of the sort emitted by ach's car at every eventuality. Ach's car is usually beeping about its low petrol, low oil, requirement for a service, need of screenwash top-up, fear that you haven't got your seat belt on, general insecurity, etc. The Corsa didn't seem to have any dashboard display to indicate the reason for the beep, so I ignored it.

By the time I'd got to work, it'd bonged a few more times; a warning chime as I stopped. I briefly considered that it might have a parking sensor so tried pulling up very close to the car in front - nothing. In fact, the only times it didn't bong on stopping were when I was trying to make it.

On the way back to the garage tonight I experimented further - and evenutally managed to produce a fearsome torrent of bonging by pulling on the handbrake before the car was completely stationary. Now, I'm the sort of boring by-the-book driver who puts on the handbrake while stopped at lights, roundabouts etc. And for some reason, the car thought I was putting it on too early. Later, I did establish that on two occasions I put the brake on after the car had defintely, completely, come to a full stop and got bonged at.

However, it did definitely seem to be the handbrake that triggered the bong. Has anyone encountered any similar warning mechanism ?

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, you push it the same way and it stops indicating. There is also the part where it forgets you are indicating right and makes everybody cut you up at roundabouts, which is fun. I haven't noticed that about the handbrake, possibly because I keep forgetting to use it.

[mister-jack.livejournal.com]

I think it's a bad interface. It has modes. Modes = bad interface.

[brrm.livejournal.com]

Man, those two features would drive me nuts. Me, I prefer my old-fangled vehicles with Good Honest Switches and Knobs. Though I suppose the Alfa counts as medium-fangled - but one day I will crack and disable the self-cancelling on that too...

[shrydar.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that's horrible. While it's not particularly more modey than the usual sort, at least with the usual sort pushing the lever left always results in you indicating more leftwards than you were before, whether that be by starting to indicate left or by stopping indicating right.

[snow-leopard.livejournal.com]

The driving instructor's car I'm learning in has the stopping bong thing. They do quite often go off even if you think you've come to a complete stop before putting the hand brake on Very frustrating.

[bateleur.livejournal.com]

Bonnnng!

[floralaetifica.livejournal.com]

I almost never use my handbrake. This is because for seven years I drove a car with a handbrake that only worked if you pulled it on harder than I am physically capable of. Really. Any time I got in the car after Daniel had been at it, he'd put the handbrake on so hard that I couldn't take it off and had to get him to come out and help. Fortunately it didn't cause me parking problems, because being a Saab it had to be left in reverse when parked anyway. But it did mean I became very, very good at hovering at the biting point when stopped at junctions or on hills. I still haven't shaken the habit, except that I do now use my handbrake on steep hills again.

[broadmeadow.livejournal.com]

I drove a Corsa once. Sue was test driving one and despite it was to be her car, in her name, and she was was making the buying decision, the Vauxhall salesman was adamant, halfway along the A4, that I should also test drive it. So I took over driving, attempted to U turn on the first roundabout, and nearly failed to do so on account of the steering being so unexpectedly heavy. I believe they all have power steering now.

My own car (windscreen wipers controls upside down - clockwise to switch on) boings and beeps, but in a _useful_ manner. If it boings it means I'm getting out with either the lights on or the keys in the ignition. Both of these things I attempt regularly and the reminder is handy. It would be better still if it boinged when I left my phone behind.