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venta ([personal profile] venta) wrote2007-04-23 09:37 pm
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Iron, like a lion, in Zion

Would you believe it ? Weebls-stuff lied to me. All this "only in Kenya" rubbish ? Don't buy it. Junction 13 of the M1 (plus a bit of faffing when you find out they've closed the damn road) will do nicely.

Actually, the lions were a fortunate side-effect.

As recorded here some time ago, owing to the pernicious habit of wildlife programmes of not including objects of known size in their footage, I had no idea of the scale of a giraffe. Horse-with-long-neck was basically the vibe, as I understood it. Last Saturday I hopped expectantly into the car because ChrisC had located a whole herd of giraffe just wandering about near the M1, and thought we should go and look at them.

Would you believe it, they're really bloody tall ? And they really do do that strange thing with their legs when bending down to drink - what kind of animal fails to evolve bending the knees ? Especially one so ludicrously tall that it's going to have to bend down a lot. Mind you, I have a new respect for Eddie Izzard's Evil Giraffe impression. For a biped, he's got the motion down pretty well.

The tigers were trying to lull everybody into a sense of false security by pretending to be big pussy cats. Snoozing in the sun, washing their paws, that sort of thing. And they really are cartoon-tiger-orange, and very stripey. I expected them to be rather more muted and, well, camouflagey in real life.

A huge pride of lions had scattered itself over a sunny hillside and was indolently snoring. All expect for one male, who was lying grumpily awake, as far away as possible. We deduced that there had been Words. Later in the day we checked up on the lions again and found them more prowly - driving a car is actually somewhat scary when you're suddenly sharing the road with half a ton or so of strolling lion. They're also slightly bigger than I thought. The largest male had a badly scratched and bleeding face and tail; I think there had definitely been Words.

The bears were doing what they do best - that is, sleeping in the sunshine in a big furry heap. Later in the day they were busily tucking into their evening meal, and still not inclined to show themselves. Canadian black bears are, however, clearly very cuddly indeed and any rumours otherwise are just bad press. People who get excited about such things should note they share an area with a pack of wolves.

Despite any number of terrifying warning signs, I took Johnson (my long-suffering Vauxhall) into the monkey enclosure. The Patas monkeys have decided there's frankly no point bothering with those difficult-looking trees when there are all these convenient metal things with plenty of handholds, but no bits of Johnson appear to have gone missing. I don't know if zoologists have yet identified the simian call for "hey guys, there's a pickup coming", but trust me there is one. A pickup-truck comes round the corner, and within seconds it's full of monkeys squabbling, scrambling and trying to throw each other out. It looked kind of fun, actually.

I watched a short demonstration of how elephants are put to work - dragging logs, carrying things, etc - but really I think I'd rather just watch them being elephants. It wasn't a performance I'd have in any way described as cruel or demeaning to the elephants, I just don't really enjoy the "show" aspect of it. But how can you not like animals with prehensile noses ? Because they were with their keepers, visitors were allowed close enough to touch them. And blimey is their skin hard - I wondered if the young female elephant even noticed us patting her.

Although I've seen kangaroos before, I've never seen a marsupial with kids in tow. The wallabies seemed to have been at it like rabbits, and most had a miniature wallaby tucked in a pocket. If I've thought about it, I've always assumed that mother-wallaby picks up the joey and carefully pockets it - once they're any larger than is handlable, they have to stay out. This is not true. Wallabies around half the size of the mother dive head-first into the pocket, then squirm around in an undignified tangle of rear legs and tail until they're right way up. The pocket, however, doesn't appear to be the furry patch-pocket of popular imagining, more a strangely puckered, pinkish, mucous membrane affair that actually looks rather unappealing. Which is disappointing. Wallabies, being smaller than kangaroos, only make little boinggg sounds as they jump.

I feel somewhat mean skimping over my descriptions of other animals - marmosets and lemurs and oryx and rhino and penguins and bison and we didn't even get as far as the tropical birds or the sea lions or the birds of prey or horses or lynx... But if you want to know you should really go and see for yourself. If you're anywhere near Woburn and fancy a day out, I really would recommend it. We were there for around six hours and would happily have stayed longer had they not chucked us out (because it was closing time, not because I was caught trying to steal a bear).

[identity profile] bateleur.livejournal.com 2007-04-23 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Especially one so ludicrously tall that it's going to have to bend down a lot.

You might be onto something there, though. Maybe the problem is that if you're huge and heavy and have ludicrously long legs the mechanical stresses of repeatedly bending your knees would be excessive. The giraffes that did that probably didn't last long after their knees broke (just after the warranty period had expired).

[identity profile] ebee.livejournal.com 2007-04-23 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
shall we plan a cunning re-stealing attempt on the bears?

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2007-04-25 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
It might require planning - they've got all kinds of fences and things, almost like they want to keep them there. Gits.

Sorry I've not got back to you about meeting up. Am rubbish, and slightly under life at present.

[identity profile] hendybear.livejournal.com 2007-04-24 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
(because it was closing time, not because I was caught trying to steal a bear).

How many bears, does a girl need ;)

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2007-04-25 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
It's not a matter of need. It's how many bears I want.

[identity profile] marjory.livejournal.com 2007-04-24 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
Giraffes are incredibly tall. Oh yes. I believe that they also have a powerful kick on them, gormless as they appear. If they end up on the ground, they have trouble getting up again and are prone to fluid in the lungs. Those are my three giraffe facts. Hence no judgement from me as for your not realising just how immense they are!

At infant school, I can recall getting somewhat heated with a teacher as she insisted that tigers were enormous. I was thoroughly convinced that they were the size of an alsatian and also that she couldn't possibly know better than I did despite her being about 3 decades older than me, wiser in the ways of the world etc. Once I saw actual tigers I decided that I owed her an apology!

Bugger, it's 2am and I'm the kind of awake that has me reminiscing in someone else's comments...

Iron, like a lion, in Zion

[identity profile] snow-leopard.livejournal.com 2007-04-24 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
Do Lions iron? I thought they just put up with the wrinkles!

Re: Iron, like a lion, in Zion

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2007-04-25 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
That's hippopotami you're thinking of. Lions are very particular. Never a crease, and their cufflinks are always neatly polished.

[identity profile] lathany.livejournal.com 2007-04-24 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
But did you steal the bear?

[identity profile] venta.livejournal.com 2007-04-25 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
No. [livejournal.com profile] hendybear won't let me keep pets. Though I think that's more ursine jealousy than anything else.