Skim milk masquerades as cream

I do love the way that simple, factual statement can sometimes imply its own complete opposite.

( Worked example )

Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please

Having paid for both myself and a colleague in the pub this lunchtime, I asked for a receipt so I'd be better able to answer the inevitable question "how much do I owe?"

The receipt says:

2 Cola Pos WI SmGl 2.90
1 Gue 4.0-4.4 Pt 3.20
1 Gr. Brit Cod+Chi 8.95
1 MD LUN Stk+AlePi 6.99


( Which is impressively impenetrable, I think )

Blushing brides and cosmonauts don't meet their bitter end

Earlier today, I had an email from a hotel who thought I might be tempted by their super-special Valentine's package[*]. Among various epic meals and chocolatey promises, it includes "rose petals on the bed".

To which my reaction was "you what"? Isn't that, like, a really bad idea? Won't they get crushed and stain the bedding? Won't they get stuck to all parties involved? Won't they wrinkle up awkwardly and work themselves into odd corners of the sheets and make it really uncomfortable? Not to mention that they'll probably make me and any other hayfever sufferers sneeze.

Am I just hopelessly unromantic and/or practical? Am I missing an important point? Or is this really just one of those ideas that is far better in theory than practice?

[*] I wasn't. But that's not important right now.