I'm looking for passtimes and lifestyles to keep my attention at bay

Well, it's no wonder there's a generation of illiterate kids, is it ?

In our staff room at present there is a bunch of sample books - they're delivered sporadically by The Book People and we have the chance to purchase any we like the look of. I started leafing through a kids' A-B-C book while I waited for the toaster to boil.

The opening pages described the game to play (find the correct letter, lift the flap to reveal a picture), and described the first few:

a flies high, b rings "DING DONG", c when she's happy purrs all day long

McGonagall is alive and well, but never mind.

There is a flap labelled "a", shaped like an apple. Underneath is a pop-up aeroplane. Well, they fly quite high. So far, so good.

There is a flap labelled "c", shaped like a cake. Underneath is a rather smiley cat. You could plausibly imagine her purring all day long. You're with the program up til now ? Good.

There is a flap labelled "b", shaped like a balloon. Underneath is a pop-up butterfly.

Lyrics Quizzage

On the way out to work this morning, I grabbed a new tape to put on in the car. Rather pretentiously titled Nightdreaming, it's a compilation I made up over a few years. The first track was, I think, taped from an LP I borrowed when I was about 14. I suspect that the tape was finished (and titled) while REM's Nightswimming was in the charts, which would date it at just before I went to university.

I've not listened to the tape in a few years, and now it seems full of those awkward moments where you realise that a song you once loved is something you possibly ought to be slightly ashamed of. However: the tape was made years ago, I refuse to be responsible for my lack of musical credibility in the past. Or indeed the present.

Throwing caution to the winds, for your delight, delectation, amusement, whatever, I present a phrase from each song on the tape.

( Your mission, should you choose to accept it... )