Incoming...

Judging by the phonecall I got hideously early this morning, there is a Felix on the loose in the UK. It's a bit disconsolate, having been on a 22 hour flight from Sydney - and not only had they not given him the seat-with-extra-legroom promised, but he ended up in a restricted-legroom seat. (People who haven't met him: he's 6'6")

So, he'll be about for just over a fortnight. Those in the know may now expect freak weather conditions, rains of frogs, geographical uncertainty and general hilarity. Anyone who wants to see him and hasn't got in touch with him already can either mail me or leave a comment here, and I'll pass it on.

On a wholly irrelevant note, markbanang says he'll take me for a pillion ride on his bike. Hurray!

I'll write the words...

So, I was opening my brie and bacon Tesco's Finest sarnie. Which was a bit of a problem, as it wasn't really what I wanted. I'm convinced it was tiger prawn and avocado when I picked it up. Bloody witchcraft again.

But I digress. There, on the sandwich packet, was a picture of a large lump of brie, and some tasty-looking bacon. And lo, it said in small black letters "Serving Suggestion".

Now. Are they really suggesting that the best way to serve this sandwich is with a few rashers and a chuffing large lump of brie ? I doubt it.

I propose the immediate discontinuation of the phrase "Serving Suggestion", and the prompt introduction of the snappy "Largely Irrelevant Picture We've Included To Make Our Product Look More Appealing".

Don't fall...

If you have no truck with Weird Shit, this post is probably best left alone.

( Would you think I was mad? )