The computer is your friend. Trust the computer.

Relatively recently at Didcot Station they got one of those automated piece-together-the-sentence-from-recorded-words announcement systems. It speaks in that bizarre part flat, part slightly surprised monotone of its kind.

The following exchange took place about 10 o'clock, to a background of A-Ha's "Take On Me", which was playing loudly in the station staff's office.

<Human on Loudspeaker>: Don't pay any attention to the indicator boards, they say the 22:16 is arriving on platform 1. It isn't, it's arriving on platform 2 as usual.
<Machine>: Your attention please, this is a platform alteration. The 22:16 service to Exeter St Davids will now be arriving on platform 1.
<Human>: No it isn't, ignore that. Platform 2.
<Machine>: Your attention please, this is a platform alteration. The 22:16 service to Exeter St Davids will now be arriving on platform 1.
<Human>: That machine doesn't know what it's on about. Ignore it.
<Machine>: Your attention please, this is a platform alteration. The 22:33 service to London Paddington will now be arriving on platform 2.
<Human>: Yeah, you can believe that one.

"You see what we're up against" said the human as he poked his head round the office door.

( More on why I think automated announcements are a Bad Thing )

Any ideas ?

On the corner of Merton Street, opposite whatever the Eastgate calls itself these days, there was this morning:

A glass case full of bananas. Just standing by itself on the pavement.