venta | So she bakes an instant cake, and she fries a frozen steak

Last night, on the way home from work, I idly contemplated what to have for tea. By the time I arrived, I'd decided on kedgeree. Admittedly, the fish I had in the fridge was pre-cooked peppered mackerel rather than smoked mckerel, but I figured it'd probably work.

I got in, slapped some rice with turmeric on to boil, and went off to vacuum the front room and stairs. (Yes, I know, if you can fit all that vacuuming in while the rice cooks you're doing a pretty shoddy job - it was at least brown rice, giving me a bit of extra time.) I went to get the fish out of the fridge... and found the steak I'd formerly planned to have for tea last night.

Organisation is great. But only if you remember you're organised.

So, steak it was. With rice. Which is a combination which, in my opinion, Just Isn't Right. Rice should only really be eaten with runny things, or, on appeal, in some sort of rice salad. Maybe. However, steak and rice was what I had. With, if you're interested, brocolli and charfried peppers. Charfrying is like ordinary frying but you get distracted half way through and end up with black bits.

At which point I made an amazing discovery. I like my steak on the rare side of rare. What many people do not realise is that, if you barely cook a steak, it never heats through properly and even with the best will (and carefully warmed plates) it basically ends up cold before you've eaten half of it. However, if you bury the steak under a pile of rice it remains rare but stays hot - genius!

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Rice should only really be eaten with runny things...

This is actually wrong.

Just so you know.

But.. but.. dry rice!

Let me cook blackened chicken with dirty rice for you sometime, and you'll see the error of your thinking, young missy.

Actually, yes, on reflection dirty rice is fine - it's plain rice that I find odd with dry things.

Er, I mean, no, I don't believe you. Don't see how it can be true. You'll have to demonstrate...

You're making me so hungry.

Rice with veggies goes with most things, I tell thee!

By the way, broccoli stirfries nicely with soy sauce. Just in case you ever wanted to know.

You can also pile fish and chips on your pineapple rings to keep those warm, too :)

(apparently they're called pineapple fritters over here. I'd been away so long I didn't realise what the local chippy was so amused about).

Why on earth would you want pineapple rings with your fish and chips ? Freak.

I must admit, these days I'm more likely to go for a crab stick than a pineapple ring.

Fish and Chips just aren't the same now that Porcelli's isn't around the corner.

Where did you get the steak? And was it any good?

It was one of a box of six individually packaged steaks I bought from Waitrose and shoved in the freezer. It was some sort of posh-looking expensively-packaged we-can-tell-you-the-name-of-the-cow style affair, which I bought when it cheap to clear.

And it was actually really nice, yes. I'd recommend it. If you're interested I can go and rummage in the freezer and actually tell you what the name of the farm was if you're near a Waitrose.

Trouble is - Waitrose isn't a close option at the moment.

Hmm. So no, because I doubt I'd ever be able to make use of the info. But thanks for offering - good steak is something I find hard to locate.

Sneaky tip: there is a Waitrose very close to my place of work, and thus very close to the place of work of someone who lives really quite near you :) Regular lunch time trips go in there in cars and everything.

Sounds like you would be likely to really, really like kobe beef, barely-cooked on rice in the approved fashion.

Funny thing is, we had steak, rice and peppers (and onions!) a couple of days ago. Very fine meal IMHO.

So she bakes an instant cake, and she fries a frozen steak

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