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Then the ring from off her finger she instantly drew
As some of you might know, I recently acquired a new car[*]. This means, sadly, that I'm looking for a new home for William the elderly Peugeot. So:
For sale
H-reg Peugeot 309
Idiosyncratic but reliable banger
Taxed til March
MOT'd til October
£150
(Or, to be honest, make me an offer. I'd rather give it for free to a good home than sell it for scrapping, because I'm sentimental like that.)
Regular readers may have heard me whinging about William over the past few years - noisy engine, unspeakable strange sounds, faults and failures. You may also have noted that I have never, yet, complained of it completely breaking down and stranding me somewhere. In over three years of bombing round the country, the car has never yet broken down on me. It's "quirky", some bits don't work, and it won't help you pull chicks or chickesses. It is, however, structurally safe and sound and does (quick very approximate extimate) about 35 to the gallon.
The bodywork is, er, physically present (you should try driving round the North Circular in the firm knowledge that you care less than anyone else on the road about your paintwork - it's a very liberating experience) and mostly red.
Big things wrong:
One tyre is worn right down. It needs replacing. It's currently illegal and will fail an MOT.
The radiator leaks - specifically, one bleed screw is stupidly designed and should not be removed. So long as you top the radiator up regularly it's fine.
The petrol cap needs replacing and won't close properly. This will fail an MOT.
A bracket which holds the exhaust on is broken. This it not a problem per se, but it does mean the exhaust rattles against the body work and makes terrifying noises. Cosmetic only, but may scare passengers.
The MOT falls due right at the beginning of October. As far as we know, barring the tyre and the petrol cap, it should pass with minor maintenance-style things wrong with it.
Irritating things wrong:
The central locking is psychotic. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. This is made worse because the key doesn't make the boot lock open (it's the right key, but was too shoddily cut to work), so getting in the boot is either at the whim of the central locking, or a matter of climbing over the back seats.
The temperature gauge is dead. We don't know why. I replaced the sensor in the radiator, and all functional bits (like switching the radiator fan on and off) work fine. The dashboard display doesn't display anything very much at all, though.
The heated rear window connection has come detached from the window. This is easily remediable if you have some silver glue, which i don't.
Other:
There is currently no stereo or front speakers. This is probably negotiable once we've discovered whether the stereo/speakers in another car due for scrapping fit.
The car has a manual choke. Obviously, this isn't a bug, but may come as a surprise to young whippersnappers who haven't met such things before.
If you heard recent tales of me having trouble starting the car, they were true. However, I replaced the fuel pump and the problems have now gone away.
Unlike moy exotic species, this car comes with no fish.
Go on... someone must need a cheap car. All offers, however implausible, considered.
[*] Some of you may also know that said new car very promptly acquired a third car unexpectedly in its boot, making it slightly shorter and fetchingly crumpled. Thereby hangs another rant.
H-reg Peugeot 309
Idiosyncratic but reliable banger
MOT'd til October
£150
Regular readers may have heard me whinging about William over the past few years - noisy engine, unspeakable strange sounds, faults and failures. You may also have noted that I have never, yet, complained of it completely breaking down and stranding me somewhere. In over three years of bombing round the country, the car has never yet broken down on me. It's "quirky", some bits don't work, and it won't help you pull chicks or chickesses. It is, however, structurally safe and sound and does (quick very approximate extimate) about 35 to the gallon.
The bodywork is, er, physically present (you should try driving round the North Circular in the firm knowledge that you care less than anyone else on the road about your paintwork - it's a very liberating experience) and mostly red.
Big things wrong:
One tyre is worn right down. It needs replacing. It's currently illegal and will fail an MOT.
The radiator leaks - specifically, one bleed screw is stupidly designed and should not be removed. So long as you top the radiator up regularly it's fine.
The petrol cap needs replacing and won't close properly. This will fail an MOT.
A bracket which holds the exhaust on is broken. This it not a problem per se, but it does mean the exhaust rattles against the body work and makes terrifying noises. Cosmetic only, but may scare passengers.
The MOT falls due right at the beginning of October. As far as we know, barring the tyre and the petrol cap, it should pass with minor maintenance-style things wrong with it.
Irritating things wrong:
The central locking is psychotic. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. This is made worse because the key doesn't make the boot lock open (it's the right key, but was too shoddily cut to work), so getting in the boot is either at the whim of the central locking, or a matter of climbing over the back seats.
The temperature gauge is dead. We don't know why. I replaced the sensor in the radiator, and all functional bits (like switching the radiator fan on and off) work fine. The dashboard display doesn't display anything very much at all, though.
The heated rear window connection has come detached from the window. This is easily remediable if you have some silver glue, which i don't.
Other:
There is currently no stereo or front speakers. This is probably negotiable once we've discovered whether the stereo/speakers in another car due for scrapping fit.
The car has a manual choke. Obviously, this isn't a bug, but may come as a surprise to young whippersnappers who haven't met such things before.
If you heard recent tales of me having trouble starting the car, they were true. However, I replaced the fuel pump and the problems have now gone away.
Unlike moy exotic species, this car comes with no fish.
Go on... someone must need a cheap car. All offers, however implausible, considered.
[*] Some of you may also know that said new car very promptly acquired a third car unexpectedly in its boot, making it slightly shorter and fetchingly crumpled. Thereby hangs another rant.
Yeah, I need a banger, tell me more! )
Sossages?
No sossages? :(
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You're a thoroughly wonderful person.
Not sure you'll ever make it in sales though.
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Though I feel honour-bound to point out that that particular phrase was actually stolen from
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also scrapping it will now cost about a hundred quid :-)
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Joking apart, our Mutual Friend I know was seriously looking to the prospect of car acquistion - possibly a car pool that cost £200 to join..So he'd might be an option for William Re-homing. In OMFs absence of hugs and the like, I'd be William hug friendly - an ex named my car William-short-for-bob sometime back.
Otherwise I've a friend looking to purchase but hes a Boi and may get a polo.
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Well, the only time I've ever tried racing someone away from a standing start, he was driving a flash Audi and I won :)
(Which may have been something to do with him having three weighty passengers and me having none, but I prefer to think of it as a reflection of my superior driving skills. He was certanly slightly put-out about it when we got back to the office ;)
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