Everyone has an uncle Bob. In addition, the Trojan horse may not have had a wooden willy in case somebody got stuck in it, said "Help me! I've fallen down a horse's dick and I can't get out HA HA HA" and gave the whole game away.

Uncle Bob related saying (or possibly Uncle Bill) from my mum: "If he died, they couldn't cremate him".

We also used to have "I'm coming to see if you haven't drowned", which was what you said if you wanted to go to the loo when somebody was in the bath, because when my little brother was three he meant to say "I'm going to make sure my big sister hasn't drowned" but he got it wrong and we all thought it was very funny at the time.