I don't understand, I don't understand

[venta]

Inexplicable things from my life...

1. At the beginning of the year, out of curiosity, I started weighing myself every day to see how much my weight fluctuates. I have electronic scales which weigh to a quarter of a pound[*] and I put the results on a little graph. The line is surprisingly wiggly, showing localised ups and downs (fairly spurious) and overall ups and downs (probably at least representative of some change).

However, between Saturday morning and Sunday morning this weekend I gained nearly a stone. I don't remember eating lead butties, or anything. I did try resetting the scales and moving them to a different patch of floor a few times, but they were (and still are) adamant. I am assuming that scale malfunction is the most likely explanation - although of course I have no way of knowing if they've been underweighing for a while and have just corrected, or are now suddenly overweighing[**]. Or indeed if very sudden weight gain is in fact a perfectly normal thing to happen but that I've never noticed before. Or if I am now in possession of a slightly-awkward-to-use random number generator.

It's playing hell with my nice graph, though :(

2. Flashback to Christmas 1980: some friends of my parents give me an enormous present. The enormous box, when unwrapped, turns out to contain an enormous teddy bear[***]. A few months earlier, the papers had been full of stories of a trained bear, Hercules, who escaped in the Outer Hebrides during filming. I call my bear Hercules. He and another enormous bear, Charlie, given to me a few years later by my aunt and uncle, sit either side of my bed as I am growing up.

A year or so ago I realised that my parents' attempts to shuffle all the possessions I'd hidden in their house onto me were doomed to failure: I owned far, far too many cuddly animals. They were pre EU-regulations, so charity shops wouldn't take them as they're not considered safe. I didn't have space to keep them all, but the only option seemed to be landfill which - even for a relentlessly practical person like me - was unthinkable. I eventually located a charity which was willing to take my toxic teddies and re-home them in Africa, and thus shipped off all but a few favourites. Both Herc and Charlie survived the cull.

Mum asked a few weeks ago: should they bring Charlie down when they came to visit, or send him to the jumble? Bring him, I said, and Herc. Oh no, they replied, Herc isn't here. He's not in my old bedroom, he's not anywhere in their house or attic. Well, he's not in my flat in London. And I personally delivered the bears who were taking ship for Africa, I know he wasn't with them. He has, it would seem, escaped again. I hope he's having adventures.

In presumably independent incidents, my leather jacket and my sleeping bag have also vanished in the past few months.

3. Around mid-September, I had a cold. Then it rumbled on, and broke out into hideous proportions while I was in Whitby. Then it more or less went away, and came back horrendously again the following weekend.

Now, this summer wasn't much of a summer as far as these things go, and I got through it largely without taking much in the way of the prescription hayfever medication I usually motor through. However, it seems that this ongoing cold is in fact allergies - I am now, in November, firmly back on the allergy drugs and much better for it. Who the hell gets hayfever in November? What am I allergic to? Bonfire and firework pollen? Fog?

This also means that all the people blaming me for the Whitby lurgy: it wasn't my fault!

4. Yesterday, our office acquired a mysterious black cube (which shows that my boss doesn't watch Doctor Who). No one actually seemed to be sure really what it was, as it didn't seem to do much even when plugged in.

I suggested that it would probably go zip when it moved and bop when it stopped and thus far no one has had the least idea what I'm talking about. Honestly, what are they all playing at? Does no one remember The Marvellous Toy?

Actually, our black cube is now working, and is rather boringly a TV set-top box.

[*] Actually, I'm pretty confident they do nothing of the sort, but they give readings which claim to be accurate to a quarter of a pound.
[**] Yes, this could of course be resolved by visiting some sort of reputable scales somewhere. I think a state of mystery is more exciting.
[***] Enormous if you're four years old, anyway.

Comments

[lathany.livejournal.com]

However, it seems that this ongoing cold is in fact allergies - I am now, in November, firmly back on the allergy drugs and much better for it. Who the hell gets hayfever in November? What am I allergic to? Bonfire and firework pollen? Fog?

I was diagnosed with hayfever this summer for the first time in my life (I suspect I first got it last year, but didn't realise what it was then). Apparently it's not unusual to get it late (much to my surprise). However, I also found myself unable to come off antihistamines this autumn. So it isn't just you. (I'd also like to know what's causing it.)

[lanfykins.livejournal.com]

Who the hell gets hayfever in November? What am I allergic to?

Fungal spores and mould.

Welcome to my personal hell :)

[beckyc.livejournal.com]

Who the hell gets hayfever in November?

Um, me if I'm not being careful? Which I obviously am, always, at all times. Ahem.

What am I allergic to? Bonfire and firework pollen? Fog?

If you have a dustmite allergy, you get it All Year Round. If so, make sure the vacuuming is done more often, by someone who isn't you.

If you have a food allergy (especially dairy allergy, which is notorious for giving perennial allergic rhinitis), it's not going to care that it is November

If your abode is too humid (e.g. getting condensation on the windows), look out for damp/mould (allergen/irritant). Find someone that can still smell to sniff and touch all the soft furnishings (carpets, sofas, cushions, bedding, mattress, clothes etc) looking for things that are damp to the touch or smell musty. Look for black on the walls, especially behind wardrobes and in corners.

As well as allergens, you may have an irritant reaction, which from your POV is practically the same as an allergy. Cold, smoke, perfumes etc are potent irritants and can give hayfever symptoms and asthma if you're really lucky. So can cleaning products, which makes life that bit more hilarious (allergies if you do clean, allergies if you don't).


If I were a gambling person, I'd go for your bedding as the most likely culprit. Unless you boil pillows and duvets every month and replace it every couple of years like you're supposed to (so says my allergist anyway. Seriously, though, who does this?).

[huskyteer.livejournal.com]

I only know The Marvellous Toy due to my interest in the folk and protest genre, which led me to Tom Paxton. It wasn't a song of my childhood, though his Goin' To The Zoo, Zoo, Zoo (sung by someone else on one of those kiddie 45s) certainly was.

[rapperaddict.livejournal.com]

Obviously somewhere out there, Hercules is looking really cool during the day and sleeping warmly at night...

[valkyriekaren.livejournal.com]

I know about The Marvellous Toy! It goes zip when it moves and bop when it stops and whirr when it stands still!

if you're really worried about your scales being broken, ask your doctor to weigh you next time you have an appointment. Or pay 50p or whatever to use one of those machines they have in big branches of Boots.

[ladylizbet.livejournal.com]

November tends to be mould spore allergy time. I suffer with that in addition to pollen.

What fun!

x

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Wild Hills o' Wannie. Billy Pigg.

[marjory.livejournal.com]

We were taught 'The Marvellous Toy', along with gazillions of weird folk songs in Infant School. The teacher was, of course, Chris Taylor, who it turned out was in various folk bands. Scarred for life, I tell'ee!

I particularly remember said song because it was the engine of me and Andrew Prest acting up one singing session. Being all of 6 and terribly witty with it, we couldn't resist sticking in 'rude' noises instead of the zips and bops. Teacher did not share our amusement, although he really should have seen it coming, methinks.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

When you say hayfever, is it mostly sneezing and runny nose or headachey and short of breath? I just saw a thing about carbon monoxide on TV and thought of you.

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Chris Taylow, now retired, is still singing in folk clubs locally.

[exspelunca.livejournal.com]

Taylor (cold hands after choir practice in freezing room)

[(Anonymous)]

I get smoke allergies in November, due to it getting cold and everyone lighting their wood fires.

re: damp. Kitty litter can absorb the moisture, and is cheap.

Adrian