Singin' "hey diddle diddle" with your kitty in the middle

[venta]

Over on her own journal, quisalan's been asking people for phrases they use which no one else knows. I know I've become infamous for these, so I'm not going to demonstrate again that I live on another planet from everyone else.

However, cryx suggested the rather marvellous "That won't get the baby ironed", an amalgam of "That won't get the baby bathed" and "That won't get the shirts ironed". Which reminded me that running two proverbs together has produced some of my favourite phrases ever.

I first became aware of this as a concept during an episode of, er, My Word, I think - something featuring Frank Muir, anyway. One of those involved was talking about his mother-in-law's habit of confusing proverbs, and gave the following examples:

That gets right up my goat (= That gets my goat + That gets right up my nose)
The ball's on the other foot now (= The ball's in your court + The boot's on the other foot now)

I immediately adopted them as my own.

Another one I encountered quite recently is the winceworthy statement of intention to get on with something, provided for me by JdB:

I must get my teeth to the grindstone (= I must get my teeth into it + nose to the grindstone). Though why putting any part of your face to the grindstone is supposed to be beneficial is a bit of a mystery.

The best bit about these is that (to me, anyway) their meaning is immediately apparent, even though they're not standard phrases. Whether this is from the context in which they're used, from the tone of voice, or from the ability of the hearer to untangle the two phrases is open to debate.

A fine set of candidates for this combination approach is the vast range of phrases which are used to indicate that someone has asked a stupid question, to which the answer is so obviously "yes" that it wasn't worth the asking.

The first one I remember knowing was "Do ducks swim?", used as follows:

A: Would you like a cup of tea?
B: Do ducks swim ?

Does a bear shit in the woods ?
Is the Pope a Catholic ?
Does Judith Charmers have a passport ?
Does the Trojan horse have a wooden willy ?

Great phrases all, but clearly inferior to, for example, asking whether ducks are Catholic or whether the Pope shits in the woods. My dad seems to have settled on "Is the Pope a duck ?" for his question of choice.

If anyone has any more variants, I'd be delighted to add them to the mix'n'match line-up.

Comments

[uitlander]

I frequently referred to things not done terribly well as 'a pile of dingo's kidneys' (origin: HHGTTG). I noted with some degree of satisfaction that this phrase had become widespread in Palaeolithic Arcaeology by the time I left.

Another archaeological term was 'To Tratmanise a collection' (i.e. to completely wreck to the point of uselessness an originally well recorded archaeological collection, based on the life work of Prof. E.K. Tratman of Bristol University). I also tentatively introduced the use of 'run it up a flag-pole and see who salutes it' to management at Tao (origin: The abominable Gus in Drop the Dead Donkey) - did it persist?

[venta.livejournal.com]

Surely the running it up the flagpole phrase predates Drop The Dead Donkey by some years ? I thought it was a military-origin, as you might expect.

I've no idea if it persists here, I don't talk to management.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

I don't talk to management.

But that's not the point: do they talk to you?

[venta.livejournal.com]

*shrug*

I've got headphones.

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Thus leading to...
Let's load it onto the shared network drive, and see who boogies along.

[uitlander]

I believe I used to.

quick lyric quiz...

[metame.livejournal.com]

I run it up the flag pole and see,
who salutes but no one ever does,


[a song with very odd/funny lyrics and a kicking tune too]

[uitlander]

Its origin could well be military, but I'd only ever heard it used (apart from my own teasing of management) in DTDD.

Someone at school was rather fond of the phrase 'hook, line an golf ball', although they refused to provide much in the way of enlightenment as to exactly how the golf ball came into it all.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Damn :( Hook, line and golf ball seems like exactly the sort of phrase which *ought* to get used - but lacks a punchline if there's no explanation. I wonder if I retro-fit a decent rationale ?

Don't suppose a sinker is a shot in golf, is it ?

[failmaster.livejournal.com]

I've always preferred the slight corruption "let's run it up the flagpole and see who fellates it", but I have no recollection of where that particular phrase originates.

[triskellian]

My brother used to say something along the lines of 'run it up the flagpole and see if the rats desert the sinking ship'. But that, like so many other of his favourite sayings, could have been quoting either Edmund Blackadder or Arnold Rimmer...

[lathany.livejournal.com]

According to Google it's actually CJ from The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin. I decided I recognised it and wanted to know. I've seen the episode too!

<runs>

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Or even The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin.

[qatsi.livejournal.com]

To Tratmanise a collection
If you're not too focussed, that can read as "to traumatise a collection". But I see that doesn't exactly alter the meaning.

I'm not saying I don't trust you, but I wouldn't like to see you playing with subatomic particles.