Singin' "hey diddle diddle" with your kitty in the middle

[venta]

Over on her own journal, quisalan's been asking people for phrases they use which no one else knows. I know I've become infamous for these, so I'm not going to demonstrate again that I live on another planet from everyone else.

However, cryx suggested the rather marvellous "That won't get the baby ironed", an amalgam of "That won't get the baby bathed" and "That won't get the shirts ironed". Which reminded me that running two proverbs together has produced some of my favourite phrases ever.

I first became aware of this as a concept during an episode of, er, My Word, I think - something featuring Frank Muir, anyway. One of those involved was talking about his mother-in-law's habit of confusing proverbs, and gave the following examples:

That gets right up my goat (= That gets my goat + That gets right up my nose)
The ball's on the other foot now (= The ball's in your court + The boot's on the other foot now)

I immediately adopted them as my own.

Another one I encountered quite recently is the winceworthy statement of intention to get on with something, provided for me by JdB:

I must get my teeth to the grindstone (= I must get my teeth into it + nose to the grindstone). Though why putting any part of your face to the grindstone is supposed to be beneficial is a bit of a mystery.

The best bit about these is that (to me, anyway) their meaning is immediately apparent, even though they're not standard phrases. Whether this is from the context in which they're used, from the tone of voice, or from the ability of the hearer to untangle the two phrases is open to debate.

A fine set of candidates for this combination approach is the vast range of phrases which are used to indicate that someone has asked a stupid question, to which the answer is so obviously "yes" that it wasn't worth the asking.

The first one I remember knowing was "Do ducks swim?", used as follows:

A: Would you like a cup of tea?
B: Do ducks swim ?

Does a bear shit in the woods ?
Is the Pope a Catholic ?
Does Judith Charmers have a passport ?
Does the Trojan horse have a wooden willy ?

Great phrases all, but clearly inferior to, for example, asking whether ducks are Catholic or whether the Pope shits in the woods. My dad seems to have settled on "Is the Pope a duck ?" for his question of choice.

If anyone has any more variants, I'd be delighted to add them to the mix'n'match line-up.

Comments

[venta.livejournal.com]

Proverbs 26, 11:

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

[venta.livejournal.com]

*shrug*

I've got headphones.

quick lyric quiz...

[metame.livejournal.com]

I run it up the flag pole and see,
who salutes but no one ever does,


[a song with very odd/funny lyrics and a kicking tune too]

[wimble.livejournal.com]

Thus leading to...
Let's load it onto the shared network drive, and see who boogies along.

[triskellian]

My brother used to say something along the lines of 'run it up the flagpole and see if the rats desert the sinking ship'. But that, like so many other of his favourite sayings, could have been quoting either Edmund Blackadder or Arnold Rimmer...

Re: A triple one I came up with last night (I am childishly fond of these things too)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_yakumo_/]

I've used the simpler version 'We'll burn that bridge when we come to it' for a long time.

Re: A triple one I came up with last night (I am childishly fond of these things too)

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

Me too. I think I picked it up from a Robert Asprin book.

Re: A triple one I came up with last night (I am childishly fond of these things too)

[metame.livejournal.com]

Incidentally I came at it from the other direction I believe. Many moons ago I had a mono nameline of 'Burning my bridges at both ends'. And I'm guessing last night I was just extendeding it.

And while I think of it you can't beat 'sharp as a button' for a gentle insult.

PS 'extendeding' is a word. Just a new one

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Everyone has an uncle Bob. In addition, the Trojan horse may not have had a wooden willy in case somebody got stuck in it, said "Help me! I've fallen down a horse's dick and I can't get out HA HA HA" and gave the whole game away.

Uncle Bob related saying (or possibly Uncle Bill) from my mum: "If he died, they couldn't cremate him".

We also used to have "I'm coming to see if you haven't drowned", which was what you said if you wanted to go to the loo when somebody was in the bath, because when my little brother was three he meant to say "I'm going to make sure my big sister hasn't drowned" but he got it wrong and we all thought it was very funny at the time.

[qatsi.livejournal.com]

To Tratmanise a collection
If you're not too focussed, that can read as "to traumatise a collection". But I see that doesn't exactly alter the meaning.

I'm not saying I don't trust you, but I wouldn't like to see you playing with subatomic particles.

[uitlander]

Its origin could well be military, but I'd only ever heard it used (apart from my own teasing of management) in DTDD.

Someone at school was rather fond of the phrase 'hook, line an golf ball', although they refused to provide much in the way of enlightenment as to exactly how the golf ball came into it all.

[failmaster.livejournal.com]

I've always preferred the slight corruption "let's run it up the flagpole and see who fellates it", but I have no recollection of where that particular phrase originates.

[uitlander]

I believe I used to.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Damn :( Hook, line and golf ball seems like exactly the sort of phrase which *ought* to get used - but lacks a punchline if there's no explanation. I wonder if I retro-fit a decent rationale ?

Don't suppose a sinker is a shot in golf, is it ?

[lathany.livejournal.com]

According to Google it's actually CJ from The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin. I decided I recognised it and wanted to know. I've seen the episode too!

<runs>

[timeplease.livejournal.com]

ewx is a duck, as any fule kno.

[satyrica.livejournal.com]

I have an odd feeling I could probably nominate Carter USM's entire lyrical back catalogue for this: it seemed to be pretty much how they wrote songs . . .

(p.s.: I got very confused by you namechecking my housemate: are there no parts of my life that have the decency not to segue into each other anymore? although given that elethiomel is going out with my other housemate, I guess I'd kinda lost that battle already...)

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Or even The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin.

[venta.livejournal.com]

Rest assured that I don't actually know cryx, merely observed their remark being made on quisalan's journal.

[cardinalsin.livejournal.com]

I'm sure we can combine these two.

"Closing the bag after too many cat cooks in the hand spill nine where angels fear to tread!"

[zandev.livejournal.com]

As we discussed in the car, another one that I commonly use is:

'That's a whole new kettle of worms.'

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

This is presumably due to work usage, where almost anything ever suggested actually is both another kettle and an open can?

[zandev.livejournal.com]

Yes, this does get used at work fairly often.

[stompyboots.livejournal.com]

He (she?) certainly appears to be one. But how often does he get to swim in cocktails?

[pm215]

One of my father's coworkers was apparently prone to such expressions as "that's skating a bit close to the wind" and "it's a bit of a hot tomato", apparently entirely inadvertently...